


True Blue

by meiyamie



Series: True Blue [1]
Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Lime, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-12 12:07:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12958854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meiyamie/pseuds/meiyamie
Summary: In 2017, the Aoi-ya is a home shared as an inn for passing tourists. Prodigious clan head Aoshi Shinomori left years ago to bring honor to the Oniwabanshuu  heritage but returns in shame after the death of his team members. It is a terse return to the Aoi-ya, especially as Misao Makimachi comes of age…





	1. Birthdays

**Author's Note:**

> Important Content Notice:  
> While a given, being an Aoshi-Misao fanfic, the fact that this has been transported to present day and time may be unsettling to some readers. Great care and consideration was put into writing this fanfic so such a relationship does not come off as exploitative of someone of minor age. 
> 
> AUTHOR'S NOTES:  
> This fanfic is based on the characters and storyline of Ruroni Kenshin/Samurai X the anime and manga. This is purely a work of fan fiction and no profit whatsoever was made in the making of this fic. Liberties are taken with canon to accommodate the present day and time. 
> 
> More after the notes. It is counterintuitive to comment on a fic before you read it. :D 
> 
> Some spoilers for RK, particularly the Tokyo Arc. 
> 
> Feedback can be sent to psychoshoujo@gmail.com.

_**Prologue -- November 23, 2017** _

For her birthday, Misao had to pretend to be surprised when she was greeted by loud music and confetti raining down upon her as she stepped into the Aoi-ya residential's dining hall. For a clan proud of its heritage as ninjas, they didn't even try to work their way around Misao's keen senses. She had noticed the eerie silence down the hallway, and the absence of the help that usually minded the halls.

She also had to pretend that everything was just...peachy, so they say. But she felt something amiss, even as she dug into the specially prepared festive bento with all her favorite goodies -- roasted fish, miso rice, soup, and her favorite pickles.

"What, no thank you for not poking fun at your weight yet?" Okina laughed.

"I consider that a warning." Misao retorted. "But for today, I am having as many refills as I want for breakfast, thank you."

"And make room for cake." Okon reminded her.

"She will always make room for cake." Okina quipped.

"There you go, Old man--" Misao said pointedly.

"It wasn't an insult, child--" Okina protested.

"So yes, cake!" Omasu leapt to her feet, followed by Okon. They left the room and returned with a strawberry shortcake -- singing the happy birthday song.

And as they sang, Misao forgot about what bothered her for a minute, smiling as she looked at every one of them. It took some years before they could be like this again -- one big happy family. And she lingered some seconds longer, making them think she was making a wish, when in truth she just gave a little prayer of thanks for having them in spite of things.

"Come on Misao!" She heard one of them -- she couldn't tell who, as she was so deep in thought -- urge.

She took a deep breath, and blew out the candle.

What had bothered Misao? She had realized upon waking up that morning that she had not dreamt in a while. Or when she has, it was always about something else. It was something she wasn't used to, having once looked forward to a particular recurring dream.

‘Once,’ she realized, she had used the word ‘once’.

 

_**June 2015.** _

Misao had come back from summer school one day and was surprised by a flurry of activity among the residents of the Aoi-ya -- and not just from the ones tending to the inn. Okon, especially, seemed strained as she barked orders at the helpers and other residents.

"What's going on? Did I forget something? Don't I have training with Jiiya?" Misao inquired.

Before Okon could answer, Omasu quickly whisked Misao away towards the direction of her bedroom. She leaned in to whisper, "We just received word. Master Aoshi's back."

Misao's eyes widened, and her mouth formed a little 'o' in surprise.

"I know." Omasu shushed. "Do not." She stressed every word that followed, "Do not harass Okina with questions. His face went pale when he got the call." She entered Misao's room, and steered her to her desk. "Study. Read. Something. Act like this is something perfectly normal. Welcome Master Aoshi back. Smile. But don't ask anything else."

"How is he? I haven't seen him since I was five years old. How about the others--?"

"I don't know, Misao," Omasu interrupted, and she seemed to choke on her name. "But of them, only Master Aoshi came back. He brought well...new friends, Mr. Sanosuke and Mr. Himura."

Before she could explain any more, she was called away, and Omasu left in a hurry.

Misao quickly took out her phone, and went through her messages. Her last message was Hannya just a week ago -- a phone e-mail, along with a picture of himself with Aoshi and the rest.

Before that, nothing.

She quickly typed out a phone mail to him, "Is it true that Aoshi's coming back? Are you here?"

And pressed send.

She put her phone away, waiting for it to beep, relaying a reply.

It didn't.

 

Aoshi did arrive that evening, and Misao would not find out until it was time for dinner. She entered the dining hall and was surprised by two other people seated at the table -- one a redhead with long hair tied back in a ponytail, the other a spiky-haired man in a white blazer. They both gave a respectful bow as she entered.

Okon, Omasu, and Shiro were already seated. Okina sat at his place at the head of the table , and they appeared to be in middle of sharing a sake carafe together.

"Mr. Himura, Mr. Sanosuke, meet Misao. She is the youngest member of our clan, and will inherit the Aoi-ya and its heritage when she comes of age. She was Master Aoshi's playmate before he left for Tokyo."

Misao returned the bow and headed to her place right next to Okina.

"Where's Master Aoshi?" She asked.

"Ah, he was very exhausted. He had quite an exciting week at work before he arrived." Himura cheerfully replied. "You know he found a job in securities, yes, Miss Misao?"

"Yes, but I was told by our brothers that it was a terribly boring job that consisted of monitoring merchandise for the Kanryu Group. I hear he exports tapioca from Indonesia?"

"Oh.” Himura looked thoughtful. “Is that was what they told you?"

As he said that, the doors slid open to reveal the help with platters of their dinner. Okina seemed relieved to see them.

"We have some beautiful finds from the fish market today." He said cheerfully. "Thank you, Okon, for grabbing them before the crowd did! And just in time for our visitors!"

"Aoshi seemed fine based on the last e-mail we received from Hanya," Misao interjected. "How could he have fallen sick?"

"Misao." Okina shushed. Misao felt her face flush with irritation.

Himura continued to sip at his sake, while Sanosuke seemed even more focused on the tempura served to them that night.

Okina gave a soft chuckle to soften the moment, "This lady needs work on her self-control. I try to teach her but I can only do so much."

"So I won't ask any more questions then, when can I see him?" Misao demanded.

"When he's ready." Misao was surprised to hear from Shiro. "I'm sure when Master Aoshi recovers... he'll tell you himself what happened."

She noticed that Shiro refused to look her in the eye as he spoke, and it dawned upon her. Something wasn't right.

Himura suddenly spoke again. "Miss Misao... I knew of your Grandfather. I met him in passing, during the war. He spoke highly of you." He smiled brightly. "I'm so glad your family still accommodated us, in spite of things. I am sure that Mr. Aoshi will recover quickly, in such a loving household and away from the city."

"Have you told Hannya that he's here? We haven't heard from them..."

The silence was deafening, and told Misao all she needed to know

When Himura and Sanosuke retired for the evening to catch the early morning trip back to Tokyo, Misao and Okina got into a screaming match. How could she not have told him outright? How?! Okina, for his age, still had his wits about him, and dodged anything thrown his way by Misao -- sake cups, watering glasses, forks... It took Okon, Omasu, and Shiro to hold her down and drag her kicking and screaming back to her room. Okon and Omasu stayed with her for rest of the night, taking turns to hold her as she flailed in grief. Okina checked in when her voice grew too soft to cry. No grandfatherly quips, just a watchful gaze.

When he finally spoke, his voice shook slightly from emotion. "This was not what I...he...what anyone wished... for his return."

 

Things had changed at the Aoi-ya in that time. While there was an attempt to be cheerful around Misao, and to carry on their daily routine as if nothing else had happened... Aoshi kept to himself in his quarters, tended only by the help, Okina, and the doctors. It felt like they were nursing a secret. It was unsettled for the next few months, and Misao found herself having less and less to say to everyone else. She tried to get updates from Okina, and all he could tell her was that simply, Aoshi wasn't ready.

Upon her insistent query, Okina had snapped, "You were five years old when they left, you couldn't have possibly remembered a lot. Stop being a sentimental idiot."

That escalated into another long fight that sent Misao banished into her room. It was Omasu who saw her after, and as soon as she stepped into the room, Misao exploded, "He would not like what Jiiya's doing!"

"Here, I have something you could not have possible remembered," Omasu was firm, "I was with Aoshi when he spoke to Jiiya to protect you. He entrusted you to Jiiya's care. Do you understand that?"

Misao was quiet. Omasu continued.

"I know you remembered how they left to defend the honor of the Oniwabanshuu. Imagine coming home on his own. He lost a battle, he lost our brothers, Misao. He lost to Sanosuke and Himura -- men from a smaller dojo. It was Himura's idea to bring him home - if the police caught him in that mess, they would have taken him away."

"Allow a man his honor, Misao, and please," Omasu sighed. "Soften your tone when you speak with Jiiya. Do not demean our leader -- your guardian."

Since then, Misao complied. It felt like every bone in her body hurt to follow Omasu's pleas, and to avoid going to Aoshi's room to shake the answers out of him, but she also saw the wisdom in what she said.

 

For the next two weeks, there was little to no conversation between those in the Aoi-ya with Misao. Shiro, Okon, and Omasu tried to converse with Misao as she usually would, but she shut them out.

Her silence was cutting.

But on the training end, her aim improved.

One dinner, ten minutes had passed before Okina had finally joined them in the dining room...with Aoshi trailing behind them. Omasu, Okon, and Shiro scrambled up to their feet to bow. Misao was struck dumb as she very slowly stood up.

"G-g-good evening..." She stammered, followed by her own bow. "Good to see you again, Master Aoshi."

A heavy pause filled the room.

"At ease." Aoshi murmured softly.

He sat next to Okina, right across from Misao. Misao stole a peek at him. His cheeks were sunken this time. And his eyes were... dead. As if he had been awakened from a long and deep sleep, but he still wished to sleep. She felt her heart race, wanting to ask him so many questions about the rest-- but she knew that that was not the right time.

She felt someone looking at her, and she turned in the direction -- it was Jiiya, his lips pressed together in a thin line. "Sorry we're late," He said, and Misao caught a tinge of sadness in his voice. "Let's eat."

The mood lightened since that night, even if it was clear that Misao could not address Aoshi as directly as she'd like. Soon, Misao and Okina were talking again. Sparring was lead by Jiiya again, and not by Shiro, much to Misao's relief.

Sometimes, there was laughter.

Sometimes, Aoshi joined them, sometimes he didn't. There were a few weeks that passed when he was seen less and less in the dining hall with the family. After about a week, Misao finally mustered the courage to ask to see him.

Okina took a long pause to ponder, then sighed.

"Go ahead. I think it would do him some good."

She passed by his bedroom before lights out. She gave a polite knock on his door. No answer.

She knocked again.

Still no answer.

Misao took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Aoshi was sitting still upon his futon, facing the moon outside.

"Uhmn... excuse me..."

She saw his figure shift slightly and turn to the sound of her voice.

"Master Aoshi...I just wanted to check on you...it's been a while since you joined us for a meal." She had nearly stammered her words out, unsure of what his reception towards her would be, "Have you eaten?"

"Yes." Was his curt reply.

"Ok, that's good. Uhmn...it's a beautiful moon out. Just be careful not to meditate, they say you'll go mad."

An uneasy silence.

"I'm glad you're back." Misao blurted out.

She turned and ran back to her room right after.

While she spent the evening tossing and turning, embarrassed at how...candid she was towards Aoshi, who she finally admitted Okina was right, she had few vivid memories of him from when she was a child... she was also relieved. There was a flutter in her stomach as she recalled what he did, and a wince at how she exited. That was such an embarrassment! She was supposed to comfort him, not act like some teen with a stupid crush.

But it must have worked because he joined them at the table the next day. Jiiya was surprised.

"The sunlight will do you good, Aoshi," He greeted. "Maybe it will make the meals more appetizing? You should be eating more."

Aoshi said little over meals, but his presence was a relief to everyone. After dinner, Misao visited him in the room again.

"I just wanted to say, ah... I'm glad I didn't scare you that last time...and, good to see you again." She gave a little smile. "Have a good night, Master Aoshi."

She turned to leave.

"Just call me Aoshi."

Misao stopped in her tracks.

"Sure!" She called. "Uh, Aoshi."

"I'll call you Misao."

"Yes, that works." Misao was relieved. "I mean, we were kids when we first met..." She wanted to say more, but couldn't. "Goodnight, Aoshi. Sleep well."

She closed the door behind her, and walked quickly back to her room.

 

It wasn't the last time Aoshi joined them at the table. The mood at the Aoi-ya lightened, and they were very nearly back to how things were before  Aoshi returned. They celebrated getting on a Tripadvisor recommended list for Kyoto, and Misao being in the top 50 of her school. And of course, Misao's 16th birthday, where Omasu was eager to try out a home karaoke system she bought online.

 

_**November 23, 2015** _

Dinner was celebratory, with cake and her favorite bento dish.  Misao sipped her can of strawberry soda as she watched them sing out loud, drunk on innumerable cups of sake and beer. Aoshi even joined them -- but he turned down the mic as it was passed to him. Misao was pleasantly surprised when Aoshi offered her an unopened can of beer.

"No, I don't like beer." She said. "I'm happy with the soda... I don't like feeling loose and tipsy."

Aoshi gave a nod, and opened his own can of beer. "That's one less person to worry about here." He said.

Misao was amused. "Is that my birthday gift, Aoshi? A joke?"

Aoshi did not reply, but Misao smiled.

"Thank you." Misao gave a laugh. "Now that's a real surprise."

The night carried on. Okon, Omasu, and Shiro were plastered. Shiro had tried to sing along to Cool for the Summer by Selena Gomez, but ended up drunken-crying over how much she has grown up since then. "Is she still pure??" He bellowed, "Is she??"

"It's not about being pure, stupid." Omasu retorted.

"It is! Beautiful women should find their happiness with only one person!" Shiro pointed to Misao. "Little Misao! You have not done any fooling around at high school, have you?!" Next thing Shiro knew, an empty beer can slammed into his face.  

Misao twitched. "Shiro-brother. You have a dirty, dirty mind."

Okon burst out laughing.

"Like I said," Okina spoke up, "I think the Oniwaban's in good hands."

"Oi, everyone," Misao called, "I haven't sung yet. Give me the mic."

"Go Misao!" There was a chorus of appreciative cheers as the mic was passed on to her. Aoshi watched as she stepped up to sing.

As karaoke and drinking sessions go, Okon wouldn't let go of the mic and sang until she passed out. Shiro was a bawling mess short of drunk texting the latest love of his life. Jiiya was quiet, and excused himself at midnight, muttering about how he once was able to outdrink all of them. Omasu slept, snoring.

Misao and Aoshi remained wide awake, seated near each other on the table facing the karaoke set.

"How many drinks have you had?" Misao asked Aoshi.

Aoshi shrugged, nursing his can of beer.

"Shiro's going to be terrible to you in the morning...or not, because it's you." Misao laughed.

"You have a pretty singing voice." Aoshi said.

Misao beamed. "I like singing. I once tried to audition for an idol group before."

Aoshi's brows furrowed. "What?"

"Yeah. But then I got cold feet. And I had to think of the Aoi-ya. Between fame and well, family. I chose family. Even if we all quarrel a lot." Misao changed the subject. "You didn't sing."

"I don't sing."

"Why not? They're too drunk to care, and you're like...leader."

Aoshi was quiet.

"Aoshi?" Misao grew alarmed. "I meant no disrespect, sorry--"

"I drank too much." Aoshi was curt again. "I should turn in."

Misao felt embarrassed, even if she wasn't entirely sure why.

"Yeah, party's over. I'll turn in too."

"Happy birthday."

"Thanks." Misao was rueful. "I feel bad, you looked like you were having fun."

"I was."

Misao looked unconvinced. Aoshi suddenly shifted, and his voice changed as he spoke,

"Really... I did. Thank you, Misao."

Then, Aoshi hugged her. Misao gave a small yelp as he did, caught by surprise. Her eyes wide, feeling her tiny frame against his wrapped in a gentle embrace. Her arms slowly raised to return his hug, wrapped around his broad shoulders. He finally has some meat on him, Misao realized, compared to when they first reunited.

She allowed herself to smile, and gave a squeeze of affection. They stepped away at about the same time, and Misao wondered if he felt that kind of lingering feeling between them too.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

And that was the first part of the dream.

  
_To be continued in Episode 2: Christmas_

 


	2. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set in 2015, questions are answered about Aoshi's time in Tokyo, and what happened to the Oniwabanshuu faction that went with him. Aoshi and Misao get to know each other better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated R15. 
> 
> Important Content Notice:  
> While a given, being an Aoshi-Misao fanfic, the fact that this has been transported to present day and time may be unsettling to some readers. Great care and consideration was put into the characterization so such a relationship does not come off as exploitative of someone of minor age. Japanese law was also taken note of, where age of consent is 13 and intercourse is disallowed if there’s someone under 17 years of age (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Asia). If you have objections to how the characters are treated in this fic, I am open to constructive feedback though I may take a while before I actually respond. 
> 
> -While this can work as a stand-alone, it is highly recommended to read Episode 1: Birthdays, where Aoshi returns to the Aoi-ya.
> 
> -Some historical notes on the Oniwabanshuu were taken off this tumblr entry from Hakuoki-History (http://hakuouki-history.tumblr.com/post/144536256324/from-my-notes-the-oniwaban-families), and Wikpedia. 
> 
> -Action-drama TV series “The Americans” had some influence with how I imagined the Oniwaban to operate during the contemporary period. 
> 
> -In the interest of keeping momentum and not getting overwhelmed, I chose to skim parts involving Oniwabanshuu history and ritual. If you are more patient with such details, you are more than welcome to build on it in your own fic within this universe or the RK canon. Send an e-mail, I’d love to read about it.
> 
> -Belated thank you to Kae and Oui for encouraging me to keep fanning the flames of this particular project.
> 
> -As always, constructive feedback is welcome! Send feedback to psychoshoujo@gmail.com.

_Sometimes the T.V. is like a lover,_   
_singing softly as you fall asleep._   
_You wake up in the morning and it’s still there,_   
_adding up the things you’ll never be. - Stars, ‘Heart’_

  
_**December 25, 2015** _  
"It's never like in the movies," Okina pouted as the girls laid out the buckets of fried chicken on the table. "At the rate it’s going, I will never see a royal Christmas feast."

"Then cook it yourself, Jiiya! The inn is super busy and the resident help have gone home for Christmas." Misao scolded.

"I treated you all as my own, yet no effort or love is shown in return..."

"Shut up, Jiiya!" the girls and Shiro chorused.

It has been several months since Aoshi arrived at the Aoi-ya. In the time that has passed, Okina had appointed him to oversee Misao’s training for when she one day leads the Oniwabanshuu. He also figured that it was a way Aoshi could rehabilitate from the event that forced him back home.

Training, he had observed, has gone well. Misao threw less tantrums and was just a mite more respectful of Okina. Her focus, form, and aim have also improved and there was less dreariness to Aoshi. Aoshi also found it in himself to be a part of the daily going-ons of the Aoi-ya, even if he said very little at the scenes. There were less instances of him locking himself in his room for days.

For that night, however, he was not at the table. But of course, Okina mused, the nature of some days just makes a pain such as his even worse.  
And as if on cue--

"Where's Aoshi?" Misao asked.

"Ah, he’ll join us when he wants to." Omasu started distributing the plates and utensils.

"You're only concerned about Aoshi because of his handsome features. You don't think about your old man."

Okina was really hamming it up that evening, having started early on the drink as the snow continued to fall outside.

For someone who disliked the idea of having fried chicken for Christmas, Okina had more than a handful that evening to go with even more glasses of liquor. Okon started chattering on about some of the interesting inn guests that evening, and the fun they had with or dodging from the mistletoe as part of their Christmas decorations that year. Shiro popped open a bottle of excellent sake, and started pouring it into the cups to share – including one for Misao. Misao didn’t normally drink but for that evening, she allowed herself a cup.

As the night went on, the laughter and chatter continued among them, and even Okina was able to keep up. Finally, around midnight, Aoshi joined them.

“Merry Christmas!” Everyone yelled, on a high from the night’s merriment.

“It is the most wonderful time of the year...” Shiro sang, as he poured a glass of sake for Aoshi.

“You’re all so noisy.”

There was an awkward pause as Aoshi said that.

“Ugh, young man, that’s my line.” Okina hiccuped. “Shiro! Get him some drink before he destroys the holiday!”

Shiro shoved the glass into his hand, grinning from ear-to-ear as he wrapped an arm around him and had him sit at the table.

More drink was had, Omasu excitedly turned on the karaoke, and eventually Okina accepted that he had too much to drink and had to turn in after midnight. Shiro was rendered into a drunken crying mess again when he was talked out of messaging a former flame.

“Will you please pull yourself together, Shiro? Look, Master Aoshi’s just there!” Omasu scolded him.

“Master Aoshi would know what it’s like to lose a loved one!” Shiro sobbed.

Misao was embarrassed for both of them. “Aoshi, come on, let’s have a walk towards the inn. I want to take pictures of the decorations.”

“Yes, yes, do that while I make coffee.” Okon agreed, shooing them away before Shiro started bawling.

The inn area of the Aoiya was located at the front of their compound, the first building after the gate. What used to be the dormitories for their middle and lower-ranking members had since been renovated into rooms for guests passing through Kyoto.

“I love being a part of this,” Misao beamed as they approached the back entrance, reserved for staff and resident access. She slipped her thumbprint over the scanner to unlock the door, which she and Aoshi passed through. “It’s like these walls know a very different history to what we’re being taught in school. Isn’t it amazing?”

She gave a polite bow to the attending guard that evening, and a greeting. The guard bowed and greeted her back, and Aoshi and her headed towards the main entrance of the reception area. Garlands were draped along the top of the walls, decorated with origami paper cranes in Christmas colors, speckled with gold. A medium-sized Christmas tree that’s a few feet taller than Misao was placed by the door, decked in classic Christmas ornaments – lights, orbs, candy canes, a spillover of origami, and some antique decorations they preserved after all these years.

“How did you celebrate Christmas in Tokyo?” Misao asked, as she took out her cell phone and started snapping photos.

“We’d work… maybe dinner and drinks, if we weren’t on duty.”

“Were you there when Hanya showed off his drag outfit?” Misao looked through her phone camera, and pointed out one photo, Hanya was in a tight red dress and had sculpted his face to look like a woman. The work was rough, almost comical. The other Oniwabanshuu played along, making kissy faces as Beshimi held the camera up for their selfie. “You aren’t in the photo.”

“Ah. I had a meeting that day.”

“Of course.” Misao resumed taking photos, and stepped up to the Christmas tree. She examined one orb hung on a branch.

“Did you get what you wished for?” She asked him.

“Wish...?”

“For Christmas. You must have at least caught those Christmas movies where you have a letter from Santa answered or something.”

“This is my first Christmas. Ever.”

Misao was surprised as she turned to face him. “Even at the Aoi-ya? You were a young boy here.”

“It was different then. The inn was smaller, and we were busy with other matters. I was an impatient kid who wanted to be a part of the real Oniwabanshuu. Your grandfather was all too happy to accomodate me.”

“What was Grandfather like?” Misao asked.

“Very stern. I didn’t even know that your Father was related to him until I was twelve years old and was tasked with phone surveillance. I caught wind of a conversation about your parents being caught in South Korea with sensitive information. And you know what  should happen once they are caught.” Aoshi paused. “I’m sorry, that’s not a story for a happy occasion.”

Misao shifted her gaze back to the tree.

“Jiiya took very good care of you. Master Makimachi couldn’t understand how his form of leadership worked, but he respected it.”

“I can’t imagine how different things were back then.”

Misao and Aoshi headed back to the residents. The wind had picked up, and Misao grew chilly, having only ventured with a lighter coat on. Upon noticing that she was cold, Aoshi drew in close, drawing the trenchcoat he wore over her. Misao quietly wrapped her arm around his waist as they crossed the yard back to home.

At the entrance, they could still the karaoke music blaring and chatter from the lounge at the other end of the hall. Misao smiled, and turned to Aoshi while remaining nestled in the warmth of his coat.

“Merry Christmas, Aoshi.” She pointed her finger upwards. “Look up.”

Aoshi was puzzled, but did as he was told.

Mistletoe hung right above the doorway.

“You know what that means, right?”  
She saw him fluster a bit. “I didn’t think you’d be one to honor such a superstition.”

“You mentioned it’s your first Christmas so... uhmn... kiss?”

“Excuse me?!”

“I’ve already kissed girls and boys. There’s a school game for that that we learned from the TV shows.”

“Misao,” Aoshi voice was heated. “I am older and have higher rank than you in the clan. This is very inapp--”

Next thing he knew, it was like Misao literally jumped on him, in a way that pinned him against the door very briefly to landed one expert kiss right on his lips. Aoshi, usually composed, had his eyes wide open, stunned after the fact.

Misao gently landed back on her feet, nonchalant.

“Tradition.” She just said. “And just something to cheer you up after everything.”

She skipped ahead of him towards the sounds of the party. By that time, the rest were on their last few songs of karaoke and had grown tired even with the coffee that Okon brewed for them.

Aoshi did not join them, which Misao thought nothing of. But past two in the morning, as Misao had retired was about to sleep, there was a knock on her bedroom door. Misao answered it, and was surprised to find Aoshi there.

“Yes?” She asked. She stepped aside so he could come in, so he did.

“A kiss, Misao, is not one that comes from games.” Aoshi was perplexed. “Shiro is right, it should be with the right person...”

“And you are the right person. You’re cute, we’ve known each other forever, and you are the only one who really knows my family.” Misao shrugged.

Aoshi spoke very slowly, going over what she had just told him, “So it wasn’t just because there was mistletoe?”

“That was part of it...” Misao was very matter of fact.

“This is weird.”

“Only if you make it.” Misao scoffed. “And I’m not going to think that deeply past 2am on a holiday.”

“We’re like siblings.”

“But we aren’t. Heck, Kuro and Omasu have been in a long-distance relationship since Kuro moved to Okinawa. And Aoshi,” Misao sighed. “it’s just one kiss.”

“It’s not just one kiss!” Aoshi’s voice rose.

Misao looked at him, unused to seeing him that rattled. Then it dawned on her. “Oh. I was your...first?”

Aoshi’s face turned red.

“...Oops.”

“Oops?!” Aoshi felt even more annoyed. “You took that from me and you could only say ‘oops’?!”

“Is there any honorary statement that can be said after that? And not meaning to be disrespectful, Aoshi, but it’s....” Misao allowed herself to giggle. “It’s kinda funny.”

Seeing at how Aoshi was about to bristle some more, she made a sympathetic tut-tut  sound and moved towards him, “Ok, I am sorry, Aoshi...I meant no disrespect...” She wrapped her arms around him in a friendly hug. Aoshi was unusually tall, and next to him Misao really looked like a little girl. She smiled, remembering the first time they hugged after a long time, her welcome to him just last month. “Do you want me to take it back? I will. Just say the word, and

I’ll pretend none of that ever happened. It will just be Aoshi and Misao, working together under the Aoi-ya. It will be no problem at all.”

For all his prattling, Aoshi didn’t push her away.

A very careful hand was placed upon Misao head. He was trembling as he bent down, and kissed her.

The kiss lingered only briefly. As he pulled away, Misao caught his eye and saw a side of him that she had always sensed but what others had denied themselves from really seeing -- raw vulnerability. No steely gaze, no brooding.  

But what now? From here? She gently caressed his cheek with the back of her hand, and smiled a bit.

“Sleep well tonight, Aoshi.” She moved towards the door and slid it open, gesturing for Aoshi to leave. “Let me know how you feel tomorrow. And whatever happens, I promise, we’ll be okay.”

Aoshi left without another word.

And Misao thought it would end there.

 

They didn’t avoid each other. Misao and Aoshi had their meals at the Aoi-ya dining room. Misao left for school the following day, and returned in time for training with Aoshi. Aoshi kept his usual no-nonsense demeanor as Misao went through training. Nothing, until after dinner, when Aoshi knocked on Misao’s bedroom door.

Misao opened the door to let him inside.

“Yes?” Misao queried.

“You told me...to let you know how I feel.”

Misao gestured towards the table by her futon for him to sit. He did, and Misao sat next to him.

“And?” She asked.

“I still don’t know.” Aoshi admitted.

Misao nodded.

“I think of how far apart we are in age--”

“I just turned 16. And you’re 26. But it sounds like you missed out on quite a lot in your teen years.”

“This is new to me.” Aoshi was rueful.

“It is new to me too, seeing you this way.”

They shared a pause.

“Have you dated anyone before?” Aoshi asked.

“Yes.”

“And what was that like?”

“We went out a few times. Sometimes, we kissed and...” Misao shrugged. “I started dating at 14. Things happen. My last date was before you arrived, with a boy named Jiro. Even Jiro, though we met in History Club, I didn’t feel like I could share a lot of what I do with him.”

“My first date was your age, and it was for a mission.”

Misao nodded, understanding. “Ok.”

“Dating has, for as long as I could remember, been part of the job.”

“No crushes, ever?” Misao asked.

“Sometimes. But Master Makimachi has also taught me mantras for self-control. I surrender the feeling and rededicate myself to the cause.”

Misao nodded again.

“Do you... well... like me?”

Misao looked amused at the query.

“I’ve always liked you, Aoshi. I got upset at you during our first few practice sessions because it was like you’ve never known me. It’s been awhile, but if there was anyone I was completely honest with, it was you, Hannya, and the rest.”

“It’s my fault that they died, Misao.” Aoshi blurted out.

“Was it?” In the innocent query, Aoshi detected a sense of Misao prying. It was time, then, he realized, to come clean.

“Mr. Himura and Mr. Sanosuke were people we worked alongside with in Tokyo. One case they assigned me to was as undercover security for the Kanryu group. Publicly, they were traders. But on the street, their real money came from illegal arms trade and drugs. Mr. Himura and Mr. Sanosuke needed evidence to put him behind bars once and for all, which we gathered for them. But of course... we were found out. On the night they closed in, Kanryu suddenly went ballistic. We didn’t move fast enough. I was the only one to come out alive.”

“I see.”

“When you had your first boyfriend at age 14, at that age I had begged Okina and Master Makimachi to allow me to go to Tokyo to fight for the Oniwabanshuu. At that time the inn was expanding, I saw even more dorms changing into inn rooms. I didn’t see myself as an innkeeper, having been raised as a fighter. This is the first time I’ve had to be me, and I don’t really know where to start.”

In a rare instance, Misao was speechless. She reached out and clasped Aoshi’s hand in hers.

“It’s not so bad, being an innkeeper’s child.” She said, humorous, but her eyes alight with a deep understanding. “We’ve done well.”

Aoshi actually chuckled softly, but Misao could hear the sorrow in his laughter. She drew up next to him, her hand clasped in his, leaning her head against his arm. It was all she could do now, knowing him. She got what she wished for: finding out what had happened to her best friends, her brothers.

She was at first angry that no one would tell her what had happened. But even with Aoshi’s outburst, she didn’t have it in her to blame him. As much as Okina had spared her from the ongoings of the Oniwabanshuu, she had heard enough from the rest to recognize that Aoshi’s really was a mission that went bad, like many other missions her clan had overseen.

“I said we’d be okay.” She said out loud.

“Yeah.” Aoshi looked at her. “Thank you.”

She saw him slowly move towards her. Misao kept her gaze steady on him, expecting.

And as his lips brushed against hers, she closed her eyes and kissed him back. Aoshi’s breath caught at the connection, and sighed in yearning as he pursed his lips over hers again. Misao parted her lips slightly, then shyly touched her tongue to his. As she did, the kisses went deeper, faster, and Aoshi’s hands were at her waist, pulling her close. Misao gave a murmur of approval as he did, and met his embrace, but pulled her face slightly away from his as she caught her breath.

“Careful, Aoshi,” She whispered, nuzzling her face towards his. She pressed little kisses  by his forehead and ears. Her hands absently traced the ends of his shirt collar. “This might end up going a little faster than we’d both like.”

“Mnmm.” Aoshi leaned his forehead against hers as Misao clasped his hand.

“We’ll be ok.” She repeated, assuring him.

For that night, it ended with Aoshi tucking her in and kissing her goodnight before he returned to his room.

That first night, she dreamed. That first mutual kiss replayed in her dreams.

The following day, she found herself longing for him. But she had to be careful not to look it, aware that she was surrounded by people keen on reading other people’s  movements and behavior. She found her focus as she went through the routine of her day: meals, school, club, chores, and training. Training with Aoshi proceeded as usual. It helped that the way Aoshi trained, there was little room for breaks or downtime. From a warm-up jog to stretches to form work and sparring, usually with another Oniwabanshuu trainee, it was enough to distract her.

She was exhausted by the time she was through, and quickly excused herself as soon as training was done.

After dinner, as everyone holed themselves up in their room and the halls were empty – Misao slipped out of her room and headed to Aoshi’s quarters. It was only when she stepped up to his door that she realized, perhaps, he could—would change his mind.

She breathed deeply.

Alright then. Misao knew she was emotional, but in terms of relationships, knowing the special circumstances of her family... she could easily slip into the mindset of duty first. And with Aoshi?

Between the both of them, Aoshi followed the rules to the tee. It was how her Grandfather raised him.

She’ll know as soon as she gets in, and she’ll deal.

She knocked on the door. Aoshi answered it shortly after, and let her in. “Hi,” yet as soon as the greeting escaped her lips, Aoshi had grabbed her and pinned her against the wall next to the door. Misao moved up on tip-toe so she could meet his height as they kissed hungrily, wrapping her legs around his waist as he carried her up. In between kisses, Aoshi wound his hand around the braid of her hair, making Misao gasp in surprise, unused (but hardly objecting) to such rough play, muted by Aoshi’s impassioned kiss.

As his passion wavered slightly, and he paused with his fevered kisses, Misao smiled.

“Missed me?” She joked. While he would not admit it just yet, she felt his answer through the front part of his lounge pants. “Mnmmhmmm,” She murmured, flicking a look between that area and back at Aoshi. Aoshi leaned into her while still supporting her, burying his face in her hair.

Misao tapped him lightly on the shoulder with a hand. “Let me down,” She whispered.

“Ah, yes,” Aoshi gently helped her to her feet. Misao wrapped her arm around him again, tilting her chin up so she could meet his gaze from where she stood.

“You learn fast.” She teased. “Now, if you don’t mind...I’d like to be treated like a lady now.”

Less was said with words that night, but it was as they moved with each other that they somehow understood and met on the same level. They kept their clothes on, but ran each others hands all over the shape of their bodies alternating with kisses.

It was something they both needed, lying next to each other, wrapped in each other’s rooms in the darkness of the room with some moonlight shining through. It was what defined them, these secret intimate moments, whether rough, gentle, or whispered heart-to-hearts.

If there was anyone that could understand Aoshi, who could write a dictionary to every slight twitch of expression, it would be Misao. If there was anyone who really saw Misao as a whole beyond the sweet impish spirit of the Aoi-ya, it was Aoshi.

This was their love. It wasn’t the sweetest, they soon realized, and it wasn’t what would be described as pure. But that is, they thought, simply how it came to be.

Misao slept later, but dreamt deeper. For Aoshi, however troubled he still felt... Misao was a welcome salve. When he felt that he had no one, and feared that he will simply be this dispirited man within the great monument of the Aoi-ya, Aoshi felt an actual connection with Misao and quietly made an oath to protect her no matter what.

While noble, they both also had the distinct awareness that their secret would not stay under wraps for long. They also knew that they ran the risk of being disapproved, even if they were both in agreement with each other.

It wasn't long before Okina found out.

_**To be continued in episode 3: New Year** _


	3. New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set in 2016, Okina gets wind of Aoshi and Misao’s relationship and has Aoshi sent away. What will happen to them now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This particular chapter contains scenes of sexual nature between a much older man and a younger woman. 
> 
> -Some nods to stuff I love: Aoshi being unsure is based off Hiromasa-san from the Japanese dorama, “Married to the Job”. Watch it, it’s adorable, and I largely owe innocence-lost Aoshi thanks to that series.
> 
> -For those who will read this as a stand-alone, liberties were taken with how the Oniwabanshuu actually operated. Not a lot of sources are out there, but some key details were lifted off The Americans, a U.S. spy-action-drama. The bit about spies being trained in the art of seduction was borrowed for this fic.
> 
> -As usual, keep feedback constructive: psychoshoujo@gmail.com.

_**December 31-January 1, 2016** _

The residents of the Aoi-Ya had a history of who would finish the New Year’s bento first. Misao usually won, with Shiro coming in as a close second. As Misao wolfed down the celebratory bento before midnight, with Okon and Omasu cheering them on, Shiro paused between bites to challenge Misao, “Bet no man would want a girl who eats that much!”

Omasu and Okon immediately swatted him. Misao scowled and continued eating through her bento. Across the room, Aoshi sipped the sake he shared with Okina. He smiled into his cup at Shiro’s joke. Yes, Misao looked ridiculous, but it was just another side to Misao he had come to accept as entirely hers. He wouldn’t find anyone else in that same position as...adorable.

Misao slammed her chopsticks upon the bento. “Win.” She declared, as Okon and Omasu rejoiced. Shiro groaned, clutching his stomach.

Later that evening, the Oniwabanshuu clan locked up their home and headed out to town for the fireworks. They were in winter yukata wear, save for Aoshi who wore a contemporary civilian outfit so he could wear his trenchcoat. As they approached the town square, stalls of local goods selling takoyaki, noisemakers, goldfish, sparklers, and other goods were open, with sales folks calling out for buyers promising bargains.

Misao bought the sparklers, and handed each unlit stick to each of them. As she handed one to Okina, she suddenly hugged him. Okina was caught by surprise, “Oh!” He laughed. “Now whatever did you do? Do you have a bombshell to give me before the new year?”

“I’m just thankful for everything, Jiiya.” Misao’s eyes were bright. Aoshi understood what she meant by that, but didn’t say a word.

Then, the first of the fireworks shot through the sky. They looked up in awe as the sky lit up in golds and reds, before showering downwards and dissolving into smoke.

“Let’s make this an awesome year!” Misao exclaimed, though her voice was drowned out by the noise.

 

_**Second Week of January 2016** _

Slowly, in the early weeks of the new year, the days grew warmer. Okina usually went out in the morning for walks to the temple and back. When Aoshi had settled back into the Aoi-ya, Okina had nagged him to come along. Even when Aoshi was at his most reclusive, Okina was all the more insistent for that he walk with him, “I’m not even asking you to believe, I’m just asking you to make sure an old man doesn’t make a mess of himself on the road there.”

Since Christmas, Okina had noticed the chi surrounding Aoshi to be much lighter. He was no longer brooding, and there was less of that air of despair around him. It’s a good way to enter the year, without the spiritual baggage, Okina believed. But he wondered what caused it, knowing that Aoshi rarely ventured out of the Aoi-ya.

On one morning together in January, during the walk home after temple prayers, Aoshi spoke, “Jiiya, I have a query... I’ve been hearing some murmurs about Misao...”

“Ah, what has that girl done this time?” Okina shook his head.

“She’s not in trouble, but things of note...she’s a growing girl. Have there been issues with her being distracted?”

“Well since your tutelage she stopped being brash with me, thank the Gods. Distracted though? How so?”

“I hear she meets with boys now?”

“She doesn’t talk to me about it, but I am sure she does. At her age I was trying to impress girls. You can only imagine how Master Makimachi responded to that.” He smirked.

“Nothing to be concerned about?” Aoshi asked him.

“We handled the one boy who we felt was not in Misao’s best interest.”

“Which boy is this?”

“Last year, before you arrived, actually. Misao was growing close with a young boy named Jiro. We had to intervene because we couldn’t find anyone who could vouch for him. We followed the trail...and what he lacked in papers, we learned from the whispers.”

“An infiltrator?” Aoshi was surprised.

“Yes. Jiro was a pseudonym of Soujiro Seta, a hitman that has been watched by many other intelligence groups for the last decade. He looks like a schoolboy but he has grown with the taste of blood. He wasn’t in love with Misao, he was after the Oniwabanshuu resources, and we caught him before he could see his mission through. We gave him an offer he couldn’t refuse, and he moved out of Japan. Last we heard, he has established himself in Hong Kong.”

“I take it Misao doesn’t know?”

“We were lucky that Misao didn’t see him as more than a date. Then you came along.”

“Excuse me?”

“You came along and changed the life of the Aoi-ya as we knew it.” They had arrived at the gates of their compound. “Aaah, I can smell breakfast cooking.”

Aoshi entered ahead of him and headed towards the residences.

After breakfast, as the clan dispersed to do their work for the day, Okina headed to his room. As he did, he beckoned for two helper – also Oniwabanshuu trainees, one male and one female.

“I need you to keep a closer eye on Master Aoshi and Miss Misao. Be discrete.”

It didn’t take them long to pick up the activity between them. Just a few days after, they had a report ready for Okina.

 

_**February 2016** _

“You’re losing your touch Aoshi,” Okina said after their trip to the temple that morning.

“I’m not sure what you mean, Jiiya,” Aoshi told him.

“Yes you do.” Okina sighed. “I had my suspicions about you and Misao.”

Their next few steps were in silence, until Okina spoke again.

“I am sending you back to Tokyo in three days.” He paused again, waiting for Aoshi to react violently. Still no response. “You will be deputy on this mission for the International Ministry, training our middle rankers to gather information, and learning from our newly formed technical team on how to work with digital surveillance. There should be minimal direct contact required with targets, and in case you are called to battle, I am quite sure it is of lesser risk than that last mission.”

“Is this a permanent reassignment, Jiiya?”

“No, but you will be disallowed from visiting. Once we are in the clear, you can come back in 10 months. Or you can choose to stay where you are.”

Aoshi had to think about it, then realized. “Ah.”

“I know you, but I do not know if Misao needs protecting from you and this is the only way to make sure. While you have time to see see her again, do not do anything that will force me to order you to be permanently relocated.”

“I could overrule that order as the protege of Master Makimachi, but I won’t. I hope that reassures you.”

“For as long as you two are under my own roof this year, I cannot be reassured.”

 

In what little else was said, Aoshi knew what it was he had to do. He broke the news to the rest over dinner. As the others made murmurs of approval and gave their best wishes, he could tell that Misao’s enthusiasm was strained. The smile didn’t reach her eyes.

He went to her after lights out. He knocked on the door, and waited for it to open. It didn’t.

“Misao,” He called softly. “Misao, let me in please.”

He could hear heavy footsteps upon the approach, as if she were loathed to let him in. She opened the door and immediately turned her back on him, flopping straight back into her futon. Her hair was down – a clear sign of being ready to sleep, her long blue-black locks spilling over her pillow.

Aoshi knelt to her, one knee up, as he watched her, “I only have two days left. Why don’t we make the most of it?”

“I don’t want to.” Misao replied, her voice hurt.

“I was not given a lot of time to break the news to you first.”

She ignored him.

Aoshi lay on the mat next to her. He reached out to play with the ends of her hair, admiring how silky it was at his fingertips. As he inhaled, he recognized the fair lavender scent of her shampoo, and how it seemed to fill the air when they were close together.

“We don’t have to do anything... I’d just like to stay the night, if you’d let me.”

“They’ll catch us.” Misao replied.

“They already have, Misao.”

At that, Misao raised her head and turned to look at him. Aoshi sighed, moving an inch closer so he could cup her angel-shaped face in his hands, his thumb running over her cheekbone. Misao drew him in, so they were cozied up under the futon. “This is Jiiya’s test. He wants to make sure my heart’s in the right place with you. And it is.”

“Be he didn’t talk to me!” She protested.

“He won’t. I’m the older one, I’m the incapacitated leader of the Oniwabanshuu, he sees this as my responsibility so he’s sanctioning me. You shouldn’t be too surprised.”

“But he knows this is mutual, right?”

“Yes, but he won’t take my word for it and he won’t trust yours. You’ve heard the stories of what happens when emotions get involved. We have entire mantras for it.”

“But we never venture further than this, and only at night.” She reached up, placing her own hand over his.

“I know, but... do you really want Jiiya himself to be seeing us like...” He referred to how they were. “And you’re old enough to know what can happen when the time comes, and there are consequences...”

Misao couldn't talk anymore out of rage. Aoshi could only hold her, and noticed how snugly they fit in what was supposed to be a single-person futon. It was a tight fit, yes, but not uncomfortable. He nestled his head in the space where her neck and shoulder met.

“Don’t sleep in anger, Misao,” He whispered, “Make way for dreams.”

He stayed through the night and slept. He woke up before dawn broke, greeted by her sleeping peacefully, pillowed against him. He gently slipped away, careful not to wake her as he left leaving a ghost of a kiss by her lips. Misao gave a sleepy murmur as she subconsciously occupied the warmth of the space he left behind.

They had the next two nights. The following night, it was Aoshi who had her in his room where the futon was larger. They did not kiss as much, nor did they talk. Misao would often dwell about the day past as Aoshi listened...though more for the sound of her voice than any actual interest in the every day. They fell asleep, arms wrapped around each other.

 

On his last night, it was Misao who watched Aoshi sleep soundly. She remembered when Aoshi was fifteen and she was five years old, and how weirdly mesmerized she was by a then surly-looking teenage boy who spoke like an adult. For someone in his twenties, he already had light lines on his face from the stress of having grown up too fast. She craved to have his attention, his touch, knowing full well that months would pass until the next time – if there’s a next time.

While his eyes were still closed, she could tell that he was slowly rousing himself from slumber. In the several months he’s been there, she now can’t imagine that she was ever apart from him. She wanted so badly for him to stay, and it goaded her to know that she had to let him go to prove that they could be together.

She also had to prepare herself for the possibility of him finding someone else. After all, what was Misao to him, really? And even she couldn’t bring herself to declare love for him, whatever that was.

They slept through the last night wrapped in each other arms. Aoshi took his time when morning woke him, and quietly continued packing while Misao slept. It was him who gently shook her awake, greeting her for the day with a kiss right by her lips. Nothing else was said as they made their way to breakfast.

He left shortly after lunch. Misao couldn’t bear to see him go, and stayed in her own room after meals.

Her phone beeped. Misao checked her phone to find a phone mail from Aoshi. The message had a haiku,

 

“For the brief moment

when the firefly went out...Oh!

The lonely darkness. -Hokushi.”

 

How very Genji of him, she thought wryly.

She chose not to reply. She would reply to other messages – asking about her day, or the Aoi-ya. He learned to send photos to her.

Sometimes—no, often -- they’d fight, mostly when it felt like messages fell short of what they wanted to say or feel. But it was largely mundane chatter, as if they had never kissed or slept through a night together before. “Till the next message,” and “I have to go now,” bore more weight in the words but neither could confirm if that feeling was mutual.

Then suddenly, it was November again.

 

 

_**November 2016** _

Misao woke up one day to find a message waiting from Aoshi on her phone, “’The rainbow stands / In a moment / as if you are here.’ -Takahama Kyoshi”

“Why the haiku?” She messaged back. She headed to the dining hall, and slid open the door, to find Aoshi sitting next to Okina. She froze.

“Uhmn. Good morning.” She stammered, and took slow steps towards her side of the table next to Okina, across from Aoshi.

“Ah, just in time.” Okina mused as he sipped his tea.

While Misao had days where she wished Aoshi were there, she didn’t really know what to say.

“Hah, you’re sick, you’re quiet,” Okina teased – and Misao’s face turned red.

“My apologies, Misao,” Aoshi said. “I didn’t mean to shock you. I didn’t think Jiiya would have me back this early.”

Breakfast was served.

“How did you get back? The train?” Misao asked as she started to eat.

“Yes.”

“Was the ride comfortable?”

“Quite.”

“Ugh, boring.” Okina sighed.

Misao scowled at Okina. “I have half a mind to fight you right now but then I’d have to bury your body.”

“I was hoping to witness a dramatic reunion, I am a little disappointed.” Okina gave a plaintive sigh.

“It’s your fault he left!” Misao’s voice was louder and more emotional than she meant it to be. She could almost hear the shifts in position among the people on standby around her, and she’s pretty sure that Okon, Omasu, and Shiro have heard or wondered what the ruckus was about.

“I’ll take the blame. But at least I know that whatever happens on or after your 17th birthday, it wasn’t because that boy in a man’s body didn’t took advantage of whatever’s left of your innocence.” Okina set down his just-emptied cup. “I’ll meet with the rest. You two can have this room, but remember Misao that you are only 16 years old, and to both of you, ALL our ancestors are watching.” He gave a hum as he rose to his feet to leave the room.

As they heard his footsteps disappear down the hall. Misao dug into her food, venting her frustration upon the eggs and bacon served that morning.

“So...I like haikus...” Aoshi said, in an attempt to cut the tense silence. “And the rainbow standing was such a nice image to show a form of reunion...”

“Hnh.” Misao grunted.

Aoshi waited for her patiently. “I am thankful for a less exciting stay in Tokyo this time around. The technology the Oniwabanshuu has access to is just amazing.”

Misao finished her meal.

“We don’t dwell on things...but just to make sure...are you seeing anyone?” Aoshi asked, cautious.

“No. I hate boys my age.”

“...Aa.”

“I do not know what to do with you here.” Misao admitted.

“I don’t know either,” said Aoshi. “What do couples usually do?”  
  
“Are we even a couple? Really?”

“We are two people together with deep feelings and respect for each other...” Aoshi thought about it. “but we have to both want to be a couple. Do you want to be one?”

“Only if you tell me if you’ll be leaving or staying.”

“That’s fair. For Jiiya, as long as we don’t do anything stupid together before your 17th birthday, I can stay. I want us to be a couple. I obeyed Jiiya so I would still have a chance to see you again, and I hope you saw that.”

“I didn’t entirely understand that, honestly,” Misao said. “Especially when my wanting to be with you, though I can’t define it, is so certain and clear.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

Aoshi stood up, and sat next to her. Misao leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Welcome back, Aoshi. I missed you.”

“And I missed you, Misao.”

“Did you have a girlfriend while I was away?”

“I would not be here if I had one – past or current.”

“Ok.” She smiles. “That means I can kiss you now, right?” She didn’t wait for his reply, having made up her mind. She got up on her knees, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. He did not protest this time, and smiled into the kiss as he returned it. But as Okina ordered, it stopped at that kiss, and Aoshi catching Misao’s hand in his.

 

This was so much better than 10 months worth of back and forth messages. The work never stopped at the Aoi-ya, but now Misao and Aoshi could freely leave together for dates then return. Sometimes they spent nights in each other’s rooms, but Okina would be visibly grumpy about it the following day.

Misao learned that Aoshi liked a good plate of curry katsu rice, books, and had to pretend not to have teared up at coming-of-age films. Aoshi learned that Misao was not very fond of natto, and liked parfaits with lots of cream, and was extremely affectionate with those she loved the most. She was like a human cat, with the way she was constantly hugging everyone at the Aoiya.

With Aoshi, he noticed, Misao was still somewhat tentative about being openly affectionate with him. It was curious, but he didn’t entirely mind.

“Why is that?” He found himself asking out loud one night, as he was reading his magazine. Misao was on her stomach right next to him in his bed, reading a visual novel on her phone. It was the end of a quiet weekend date, and while they had gone out for dinner she didn’t want to turn in just yet.

“Why is what?” Misao asked, not looking at him. Aoshi put down his magazine and sidled up to Misao. Feeling a little silly, he nuzzled the back of her neck. Misao gave a yelp of surprise as he did, and moved to squirm away from him, but Aoshi caught her firmly by the hands – not letting her go. “This.” Aoshi said. “You seem unsure about touching me. Why?”

“I am not.” Misao protested, surrendering to him. Aoshi let her go, but hovered above her, his arms straddling over hers. “See? Look.” Having gotten her hands back, she tapped his nose.

“When it’s just us, it’s fine. But what about in public? It’s like you want to hug Shiro more than me.”

“You know that’s not true.” Misao looked crossed, and crossed her arms as well as she looked directly at Aoshi. “I like hugging you.” She thought about it for a moment, and Aoshi rolled on to his side, still watching her. “I’m just not used to having someone really special by my side.” She admitted.

“Shouldn’t there be a way to get used to that?” Aoshi asked.

“Mnmm, I think there is, but I haven’t tried it.”

“Which is?”

“I guess...I have to get used to really feeling you by my side? It’s only been two weeks since you got back.” She looked at him, studying his face, his sharp features, the way his bangs fell over his eyes. He still looked quite young for his age, he could be mistaken for a college student, but there’s a depth to his blue eyes that showed how much he has gone through in life. With her however, he was more relaxed, and curious even. “Remember how when we first got along, after you came back the last time, I said I could treat things as they were? Not expecting anything more?”

“Yeah?”

“That. I just...didn’t expect.” She tipped her head to the side, thinking. “I thought we’d be finished once Jiiya caught on, and I thought I’d never see you like this...” She touched his face with her hand. “So I really don’t know where from here. But I do like you, that much I know.”

“It would be a bigger problem if you didn’t like me, don’t you think? And after 10 months...I still like you a lot, Misao.”

Misao’s lips curved into a hint of a smile. “Perhaps, Aoshi, for now, that’s all that matters.” She kissed him quickly. “Sorry for being so silly and making you feel awkward.”

“It’s fine,” He replied, and kissed her back. They had started then, and the kisses grew deeper, and they caught each other in a tender embrace. As furtive hands explored each other, Misao grew curious, her fingers dancing over the collar of his yukata, then slipping her hands underneath the folds. Aoshi gave a gasp as she did.

“Mnmm, bad.” He murmured, his voice becoming deeper than it was.

“Why is it bad?” Misao asked, daring to move her hands up, then down again...and the fingers of one hand played with the cloth that kept the shirt closed and together.

“You know once we go here... there’s no turning back, right...?” Aoshi caught her hand again.

“We can stop before we do anything that ‘upsets our ancestors’, like what Jiiya said. But technically, didn’t our ancestors marry young?”

“Misao,” He buried his face in her hair, remembering how much he missed the sweet scent of it. “No. We lose out if we go down this path.” He locked her in another embrace. “It’s just three more days until we have more freedom, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

Misao sighed, and Aoshi detected a feeling of let-down as she did, “That isn’t something one normally plans for you know.”

“Then we’ll do it differently by planning it.”

Misao was dissatisfied with his answer, but shrugged it off.

 

And her birthday came to pass again, and it was celebrated at a simple restaurant dinner with the Oniwabanshuu residents. As the dinner wound down and they waited for dessert, Misao excused herself to go to the bathroom. Okon followed her.

After Misao finished in the stall, Okon suddenly grabbed by her by the hand.

“Happy birthday. I gave you a presentable present, but I’m here to give you an unpresentable one.” She gave her a small pouch, one usually used for small trinkets, “To make your 17th more comfortable.”

Misao was puzzled as she felt through the pouch, then realized the shape inside -- condoms. Her face turned crimson. “Okon! We haven’t thought that far!”

“But what if he has? While you will always be taken care of, I also don’t want you to feel like you’ll miss out on things.” Okon hugged her. “If anything, at least it will be with a man who knows what he’s doing!”

Misao wondered if she had gotten her face to a normal color when she returned to their table. She refused to look at Aoshi.

 

That night, Misao made it very clear that she had exams to study for. She wished everyone goodnight, and with Aoshi, gave what seemed like a quick hug before she dashed into her room. There was a split second of confusion among them, but they shrugged it off, trying not to look back at Aoshi as they headed to their respective quarters.

Okina however, laid back, letting the rest go ahead.

“Aoshi.” He called, his voice somewhat slurred from the drink he head, “I trust that you held your end of this agreement?”

Aoshi nodded.

“You better not have dishonored her before this, Shinomori. I have no qualms about killing you and hiding the body.”

“Jiiya, I wish you’d be more trusting than that.”

Okina hiccuped. “Misao is the only one who had actual blood relatives in the Oniwabanshuu.” He sighed, “If I could, I’d keep you two apart. If either of you break each other’s hearts, I cannot bear to see how it would affect the clan. Especially when I know that anything you do will leave a lasting impression on that girl. “But at this point...” Okina’s voice cracked. “She’s all grown up now. She has to protect herself.”

Okina’s eyes welled up in tears, which took Aoshi by surprise. He fumbled over himself at first, as he reached out to Okina. He paused, a hand resting on his back to reassure me, before he helped him back to his room.

 

_**Right before December 2016** _

“She’s avoiding me.” Aoshi realized.

It had been two days since Misao’s birthday. They haven’t seen each other as often recently, and she’d also fallen behind on training, though she was seen practicing when Aoshi would leave the Aoi-ya for errands. While Aoshi had passed by her room, the lack of light inside indicated that she was asleep. She was tired, she said in a message sent to him.

Finally, on the third day, right after dinner he followed her towards her room.

“Aoshi, I can’t talk right now,” She immediately said, “I am so behind in math and I’m worried that I won’t keep up...”

“You’re lying to me. Why?”

She brought her books to her table. “I wouldn’t lie to you--”

“Misao.” Aoshi’s tone took on a steely tone to it, and she winced.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She covered her face in her hands. “It’s so stupid.”

“What happened?”

He sat right across from her. Misao opened her mouth to talk, then cringed again, shaking her head. It was comical and while in her character, Aoshi was alarmed.

Misao grabbed her bag, dug in, and threw the small pouch at Aoshi.

Aoshi opened it, looked inside, then closed it.

“Oh.”

“It was given to me on my birthday.” She said.

“How...thoughtful of them.” Pause. "We haven’t planned anything yet.” He reminded her.

“We don’t have to...I am...” She blushed. “I mean, you’re older, and maybe your experience will be...you know? Let’s not talk about it.”

Aoshi nodded. “But don’t shut me out like that again.”

“I’m sorry.” She really was.

That night, she joined him in his room. Her hair was down, a sign that she was ready for bed. Aoshi was still up, reading through some reports that got through to him from Tokyo. As she got into bed with him, he reached out for her hand and held it without looking up from his papers. Once he finished reading, Misao kissed him, apologetic.

“I’m so sorry.” She said again. He sighed, and hugged her, his arms wrapping around her tiny waist and hers around his neck, resting on his shoulders. “It’s just that I...” She put her hand over his chest, blushing. “I don’t know how to feel about everyone else knowing and...I’m worried that I wouldn’t be able to...”

Aoshi put a finger to her lips, shushing her. She noticed a change in his demeanor. In that instance, it was not Aoshi as her friend and lover. It was the Aoshi she works with in the Aoiya, the one she meets in the afternoons, the one who pushed her for training.

“There are times with the Oniwaban work when you have to put in more effort to get the information you need. Some of those measures involve making the target reach a vulnerable state.” He dropped his finger from her lips and gazed into her eyes, making sure she understood, “When I said before that you were my first kiss, you weren’t. My first kiss was for work. My first experience with copulation was in training. We hired help for that. Are you surprised by that, Misao?”

“Not...too surprised.” She said softly.

“Do you understand what this will mean between the both of us?”

She was puzzled at first, thinking it through. Then she realized. “Oh.” She wouldn't the only one who will be experiencing things for the first time.

“Now, let’s go to sleep.” Aoshi reached to turn out his lamplight. “We can just sleep.” He meant it. He lay back to down to watch Misao sleep, but Misao was wide awake.

“Did you feel different after you did it for the first time?” Misao asked him.

“There was a sense of release.”

“Do you remember the girl?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

Aoshi kissed her. “I won’t forget you, that’s for sure.”

“You better not.” Misao meant it as a joke, but it came out more serious than she expected. If Aoshi noticed, he pretended not to.

Aoshi closed his eyes, meaning to get to sleep.

This was, Misao realized, where Aoshi was most himself. Where he was both the stern fighter of the Oniwabanshuu, but also the protective and caring man by Misao’s side. They are ten years apart in age and in the time spent away from each other, but it was like he never left. It was so strange and so revealing to realize how much she knew the person next to her, and how every thing he said barely unsettled her. As she took the sight of him in, It felt like her heart just popped open and poured out all the affection she had for him.

She leaned in to kiss him, and she felt his lips meet hers again. She pressed on, insisting, to which Aoshi slowly awoke, surprised but not put off by how forward she was. She broke away from him briefly, and undid the buttons of the pyjamas she wore. She watched him as she did so, baring herself to him for the very first time. This time, he didn’t stop her.

He felt her grow shy under his gaze, and he closed the gap between them with a kiss. He took her hand, and led it to the hem of his shirt, an invitation to explore if she’d like. Misao paused, running her hands over his abdominals, quietly admiring it. She ran her hands up his bare arms, and back down again, then helped him take off his shirt. She shrugged out of her own shirt, baring the top part of her body, then pulled off her pants – her underwear with it. Aoshi’s breath caught, looking at the beauty that was Misao, just covered by her very long dark hair. She shivered slightly as a draft blew in, and Aoshi immediately covered her up with the blanket and sidled up to her. He kissed her, and she kissed him back, and they continued to explore the shape and form of each other. A condom was readied, easily retrieved from Misao’s pyjama pocket.

Misao liked her breasts played with, while Aoshi had a sensitive spot right below the neck. Their names were exchanged in affirmations and pleading whispers as they lay claim to each others bodies. As it went on, Misao’s first was marked by a sharp pain when Aoshi’s thrust broke through her. She gave a cry, which made Aoshi freeze in his place. As her eyes grew wet from the shock, Aoshi was quick to respond, even offering to pull out of her to make her more comfortable.

Misao insisted no, wrapping her legs around him. She was utterly transformed as arousal got the better of her, and Aoshi was transfixed, watching her meet his every thrust.

Afterwards, he quietly collected Misao, spooning her from behind. “Are you alright?” He whispered, kissing a spot behind her ear.

“Yeah.” Misao replied. “You looked like you were enjoying yourself.”

“You’re beautiful when you’re so...free.”

“I’m not sure if I--” Misao wondered, but a brief squeeze from Aoshi silenced her.

“They say that it gets better with practice.” He murmured to her.

“I guess...yes... we’ll find out if that’s true.”

“Depend on it, Misao. Depend on it.”

And it did.

 

But as Misao became a woman, many more changes followed after.

 

_**To be continued in Part 4: Brakes**_

 

 


	4. Brakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misao becomes more involved with the Oniwabanshuu, and faces more conflict with Aoshi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took on a life of its own, and I admittedly barreled through it as I didn't want this to become a series that didn't end! I'm not sure if it did work, but do let me know. Feel free to leave a comment, kudos, or even send an e-mail at psychoshoujo@gmail.com.

**_December 2016_ **

“Another winter,” Okina mused as he and Aoshi headed to temple one chilly morning. “Time flies.”

“Yes it does.”

“Things are busier at the Aoi-ya. Business is actually getting better on the front-end of things. I never would have imagined that would have happened. Us? Hospitable? Heh.” He chuckled. “How things change.”

“Yes.” Aoshi agreed.

“They’ll be out a lot this month. You won’t get to see Misao as often as you’d like.”

“It should be fine.” Aoshi reassured him.

“You will not always know where she is, Aoshi,” Okina reminded him. “She will also be stepping up as a member of the Oniwabanshuu.”

“I don’t expect otherwise, Jiiya.”

They had arrived at the temple.

“That’s what they all say.” Okina warned him.

 

Sure enough, Misao was always preoccupied with things. On nights when Aoshi thought she’d be visiting him, she wouldn’t. When asked about it in private the following day, she’d be horrified at herself for having forgot. It was school, or it was a project, or it was exams. It was her being tired, or her needing to get ready for something due the day after. Aoshi didn’t entirely mind, but as a whole week passed, he grew more concerned.

One Saturday he was relieved to see her home. “Will I see you later?” He asked her after breakfast.

“Yes, you will.” She replied. “I promise, I won’t forget.” She kissed him quickly before hurrying away.

And she didn’t forget, as early as the afternoon, she burst into Aoshi’s room while he was reading. “Hello!” She said cheerfully, bouncing into Aoshi’s bed. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Aoshi hugged her back, with his other hand still holding his reports. “How long has it been? Two weeks?”

“Nearly,” Aoshi admitted. “What have you been doing? I could barely get a word in.”

“Stuff.” Misao mumbled against his shoulder. “Lots and lots of things to do.”

“Sou.” Aoshi kept reading through his reports.

“Okon and Omasu have started training me.”

“Did they?”

“Yes.”

“What was their first task?”

“Get information about one teacher at school, one that I never had as my teacher before.”

“Did you get it?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I eavesdropped on his students in the hallway, and I checked twitter. I also followed him home from school twice. He has a family, but he also has a much younger girlfriend from one of the colleges. Okon and Omasu were happy with my work.”

Aoshi took a deep breath. “Congratulations.”

“I guess you had to do that too, huh?”

“Yes.” He set his papers aside, “Let’s not talk about work anymore.”

Misao’s eyes brightened. “Good idea.” She breathed, as Aoshi leaned in for a kiss.

 

The following day, Aoshi was quiet for most of the walk to the temple. Okina felt that something was off with him, but he was far from surprised. It might be what he suspected, or it may be what he has heard from the other members of the Oniwaban. He know he’ll found out sooner than later.

Sure enough, after their prayers, as they headed out of the temple courtyard, Aoshi spoke, “I forget that 17 is the age of initiation among the Oniwabanshuu.”

“Yes.”

“I forgot because I started young.”

“The men always start young. Most of them are impatient you see.” Okina gave Aoshi a knowing glance. “But we aren’t talking about how training is different between girls and boys now, are we, Shinomori?”

Aoshi didn’t answer.

“Will this stage of Misao’s training be a problem for you?”

“No.” Aoshi was too quick to answer.

“Keep telling yourself that.” Okina advised. “While we’re on the topic of Misao and purely work-related inquiries, I take it she is no longer pure, so to speak?”

“No.” Okina noted a forceful tone in Aoshi’s voice, as if he loathed to confirm that.

“Be glad, Aoshi. At least that didn’t have to be arranged for.”

“How very convenient for you.” Aoshi’s voice was deadpan, but Okina sensed irritation on his part.

“Don’t think that way, Shinomori. You may change your mind about Misao as soon as we get back home, but she will always be like a daughter to me.”

They had arrived back at the Aoi-ya, and Aoshi quickly walked ahead to the residences without another word.

 

As the days passed, it took extra effort for Aoshi to keep his cool as he went about his days at the Aoi-ya. But by that time, word was out, he was not too pleased knowing that Misao was being prepared for the field. If Misao knew, she pretended not to notice or acknowledge Aoshi’s unease.

Come Christmas, it was another dinner and another go at the karaoke. But as the party died down, Misao had a cheerful skip in her step as she let herself into Aoshi’s room.

“It’s been one year.” She said, beaming.

“Ah, so it has.” Aoshi was thoughtful as he puttered around his room, cleaning up after himself.

“I’m glad I had these last two months with you.”

“I’m glad too.”

Misao waited for him, seated on his bed.

“I can’t be the only one excited about today, am I?” She asked, her voice coy.

“Excited?” Aoshi asked.

“Oh please.” Misao scoffed. As Aoshi faced her, she knelt on his bed so she could meet him. “You cannot possibly think that you’ll be going straight to sleep tonight?”

Before Aoshi could answer, her right index finger traced the spot from the crotch of the pants he wore to his chin. Aoshi gasped slightly as she did, surprised. Misao just looked at him, focused, expecting.

“So we’re celebrating.” Aoshi breathed.

“Yes we are, Master Aoshi.” Misao’s voice had taken on a tone Aoshi’s has only heard before when she pleads for more intimate attention from him. Surprising, but hardly unpleasant.

“Alright...” He grabbed her hand, and neared his face to hers. “Let’s celebrate.” His voice was low, and he kissed her. The kiss started sweet, loving, then he noticed that Misao’s response was more urgent, wanting. He allowed her to pull him in, positioning himself over her as they kissed hungrily. Clothes were off, quickly, and the rest followed.

When usually their bouts of lovemaking took its sweet time, figuring out which part of their bodies responded to what, was now rougher, hungrier. It took a very conscious effort not to cry out their pleasure afterwards.

As they collapsed onto the bed after it was all over, there was a moment where they could only both lay next to each other. It was Misao who rolled over to Aoshi’s side and snuggled up to him, and Aoshi responded with a kiss to her temple.

“It sounded like you were pleased,” Misao said as she found her space right next to him.

“You couldn’t tell?” Aoshi’s voice was humored.

“I like hearing you confirm it.” Misao was almost purring as she said it. “I hope you were surprised.”

The way she said it gave Aoshi a start, but he didn’t say anything. He wrapped his arms around Misao and gave an affectionate squeeze.

“Merry Christmas, Misao.” He murmured. He was glad they had the year together.

 

_**January 2, 2017** _

On the first working day of the new year, Omasu stopped by Aoshi’s quarters. She gave a deep bow as she asked to enter. Aoshi was sending e-mails on his laptop, and he allowed Omasu to enter.

“Master Aoshi, I have to give you updates from now on regarding our youngest trainee. We’ve been updating Okina so far but we’re told that at this stage of her training, we have to clear this with you.”

Aoshi swore that his heart stopped a beat before he gave a nod for Omasu to continue.

“We’re keeping tabs on the trade case with Komagata industries. As you know, Yumi Komagata has been zeroed in as the second in command with human trafficking in the Pacific area. We’re very close to finding out who her boss is, and the person key to Komagata’s operations has a weakness for very young spirited women.”

“So of course Misao would be the person who would get the information you need?”

“Yes. Our target is Yusuke Kobayashi, he’s the one who arranges Komagata’s shipments from China, North Korea, and Southeast Asia. Kobayashi has strong connections with customs and shipping. He is also professional enough not to touch his client’s stock which is why he opts for young local schoolgirls. His last girlfriend disappeared on him after she got the Louis Vuitton purse she wanted for Christmas and he is now aching to replace her. Misao would be a good candidate.”

“What does Misao need to find out?”

“Names, maybe schedules.”

“You sure there is no one else up for the job, Omasu?”

Omasu sighed deeply. “Master Aoshi, it’s not like the old days where we had a long list of recruits. Shiro, Kuro, Okon, and myself are your only generals. Misao’s our newest and best-trained recruit. The help are still being screened – end of the year we’ll be rid of ten out of twelve of them, and they’re only about to start first level training.” Omasu read an irritated silence from him, “Perhaps you’d like to discuss your apprehension with Misao herself?”

“Why should I? It’s business after all.”

“If I may, I vividly remember Miss Akane and Sir Ryuu, her parents, struggling with similar missions when they were individually dispatched to South Korea. If you dislike the nature of the assignment, best bring this up with Misao. As far as the others are concerned, we are ready to send her out as soon as possible.”

Omasu bowed deeply.

“Not meaning to impose, you being our leader, but I wish to stress that we are on a deadline.”

“I’ll talk to Misao.” Aoshi replied, his tone curt. “You’ll hear from me soon.”

 

“Aoshi, I’m hardly a child.” It was Aoshi who visited Misao after dinner in her quarters. He had spoken very slowly, as if he were talking to her about initimacies for the very first time. “I know what the mission requires. Omasu and Okon have told me enough of their stories from before.”

“So you’re ok with this?” Aoshi pried.

“It was never a question. Of course I’m ok with it.”

“You can opt not to do it.” Aoshi told her.

“But I won’t.” Misao was firm. “If the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t stop you from going. I am probably the last generation to have grown up with the Aoi-ya and I know what my responsibilities are.”

“Fine then.” Aoshi’s voice was edgey. “I’ll inform Okon and Omasu to send you out.”

“Aoshi, are you hurt by this?”

“No.” Aoshi was lying. He was appalled at how easy it was for her to say yes. Even he took a few minutes to consider her welfare and their relationship, he wished that she did the same for herself... for him.

“You have to tell me the truth.”

“I can’t change your mind, Misao. But I do think you’re being reckless with yourself.” Aoshi warned.

“Noted.” Misao immediately said.

“Good night.” Aoshi headed for the door.

“Aoshi, after whatever nights that follow with Kobayashi, you know that I’ll still come home to the Aoi-ya right? And to you?”

“Yes. But I don’t count on you to really be the same after this.”

He left before Misao could put in another word.

 

_**February 2017** _

The mission was almost too easy. Misao went by the name Kasumi, and she played up the idea of bored school girl with few friends who could understand her. When Kobayashi saw her at the hotel bar, she had him hooked. She just had to be herself, but better, Omasu had advised. Be more flippant, put a little more pitch in the schoolgirl whine... don’t get too comfortable in the shimmery little dress she wore for that evening. Have a drink, but never leave it alone.

Soon enough, he had her over. Misao was nervous that first night, but it worked to her-- that is, Kasumi’s advantage. Kobayashi easily got high on what looked like power over her. Sometimes, Misao had to admit, it was fun. It was nothing close to what she shared with Aoshi – Misao was more conscious of herself while with Kobayashi, making sure that she put on a convincing enough show to for him to think that she liked his company, to get him to lazily share the highs and lows of his day right after and for the nights that followed.

As Kobayashi napped, Misao was wide awake, mulling things over. With Aoshi there was a genuine consideration for her, wanting to be pleased but also determined to please her in return. When Misao had to stay through the night with Kobayashi, she would sleep remembering the past winter with Aoshi... how curious he was when he took the time to explore her body, and how his gaze darkened with arousal as Misao found the right touch, spot, and gait to turn him on. When she would call for Aoshi in bed, she meant it. There was a sweetness in knowing that she had him through the night, and how she’d wake up to him the following day.

 

The mornings with Kobayashi were harsher. He needed to be in control, and Misao had to play along with that fantasy.

She was with Kobayashi for the first week of February. She went back to the Aoiya when the week was through, feigning some extended high school field trip.

When she returned to the Aoi-ya, she immediately asked for Aoshi when she arrived. He was out, the help reported, he had meetings in town with some visiting members of the clan. He also had a few deals involving the inn.

Misao felt a knot form in her stomach. “Alright.” She said softly.

She was warned, wasn’t she? And didn’t she want this?

He arrived right before dinner, and the minute Misao heard the front door bell ring, she had leapt to her feet and broke into a run to meet him. It was like she hurled herself right into his arms in greeting – and she didn’t care if he found it unbecoming.

“I missed you.” She murmured into his chest, holding him tightly. “I missed you.”

To her relief, she felt him return her embrace. But she also felt some tension from him, “We’ll talk later.” He whispered. “I missed you too.”

She didn’t want to be apart from him. To even her surprise, she found herself reaching for him when they gathered for dinner. Aoshi didn’t shake her off, but they knew it was unusual of her to keep her hand over his.

Right after dinner, she followed him back to his room.

“I’m not going to disappear anytime soon, Misao,” Aoshi reassured her.

“Still, that’s one week too long away from here.”

“You’ll be going back soon.” He reminded her.

Misao scowled. “I know that. Why do you have to say so?”

Aoshi saw no need for her to flare up, but knew that now was not that the time to confront her.

“I’m glad you’re safe, Misao.” He pulled her close, catching her in an embrace. He kissed the top of her head, then her forehead, then bent down to kiss her. Misao tip-toed to meet his kiss. As she did, she had to pull him towards their bed, and not another word was said as Misao made up for the time lost between them.

She insisted on making up for it twice in a row.

After everything, Misao collapsed on top of Aoshi, breathing heavily to herself. Aoshi knew why Misao was so pushy that evening, and had allowed her to lead him that night. “That was...sexy.” He had to admit, his lips curving into a tiny smile.

“That’s so strange to hear from you.”

“You know I wouldn’t lie.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” A pause. “I love you, Aoshi.”

Aoshi didn’t know how to reply to that.

Misao just let the silence hang in the air, and gave a light squeeze on Aoshi’s hand. She rolled off him, settling him next to him. Aoshi turned to his side, spooning her. He nuzzled the crook of her neck and shoulder, alternating with light kisses.

For now, Misao thought, that response will suffice.

For now.

 

The following day Aoshi called Omasu and Okon to his room. They gave a deep bow as they greeted him.

“I just want to know how long Misao is expected to stay with Kobayashi.”

“We hope to close the file on this soon. Our intel has come through, we’ve tracked some movement, but we need names. Misao has to get to the point where she sees someone, or hears a name dropped more than once. Sadly, Kobayashi is still aware of himself.”

“I want this done by the end of this month.”

“We can’t promise that, Master Aoshi,” Omasu objected. “Even if we can close this quickly, Kobayashi will warn Komagata if Misao suddenly disappears on him.”

“We can find him through other means. We have our own contacts in customs and trade and we don’t need Misao to be there. Don’t you have the confirmation you need?”

“Not yet. We have leads but only Misao can confirm which one’s the warmest.”

“Move quickly.”

“Yes, Master Aoshi.”

Okon and Omasu bowed again, and left the room.

 

“You had no right!”

Next time Misao and Aoshi met, there was none of that amour in the air between them. Misao was angry.

“What was this I hear from Omasu that you’re giving us a deadline on this mission?! Missions like this can run for years if needed.”

“You’re only there to confirm, Misao, you are not there to get the intel. A month is more than enough and you’ve been there for two.”

“We want a clean exit, Aoshi! We’re to maximize all possibilities with the target.”

“At least I know that you follow the guidelines.” Aoshi’s voice was cold.

Misao gave a frustrated cry. “You didn’t have to be so heavy-handed with this, especially since you are not officially the Oniwabanshuu leader. You are still considered incapacitated.”

“All the more. You are not the only one tasked to see this through.”

“I don’t think it’s in my best interest to pull me out of this.”

“Enough. My order still stands.”

Misao stormed out.

They didn’t speak for weeks. The case wrapped before Aoshi’s deadline. Misao made a graceful exit from Kobayashi’s life, talking about how her parents have found out and how she could no longer see him.

 

_**Mid-March 2017** _

“For the mouth on her, Misao sure is a good listener.” Okina was speaking out loud to a stoic Aoshi that morning. “That’s another folder’s worth of evidence with the bureau. They just need to time when they’ll close in on Komagata and her partners.”

They kept walking.

“I’ve been thinking of Akane and Ryuu a lot recently,” Okina continued. “It can’t be helped... seeing how you and Misao are. I don’t like talking about them with Misao, not now anyway. I doubt you remember, but they weren’t the happiest of couples. Ryuu never felt fully accepted and loved by his Father, and from there he never really knew how to properly love Akane back. He taught Akane patience, though. Heh, Misao got her Mother’s temperament. But with their work with the clan...well...” He shrugged. “I’d say it was Misao who finally brought peace between the two when she was born. They were not a good match, but they were good parents.”

Aoshi spoke up, “I want to assure you that I was acting in full capacity as the leader of the Oniwabanshuu when I last spoke to Misao.”

“I know. But you pulled rank on Misao, and that’s not going to be easy to settle.”

“I would have thought she could tell the difference between the leader and her partner, especially at this stage in her life.”

“She does. But she doesn’t know what to do with how she feels. It’s endearing, to those who regard her as family. But between you and me, I don’t know how to teach you to speak straight to her heart.” Okina paused. “Perhaps what you should check – have you entrusted your heart to hers the way she entrusted her heart to you?”

 

Almost a month had passed since their last fight, and Misao had kept her distance form Aoshi. Aoshi decided to take his chances and visit her that evening while she studied for school.

“Have you settled back in already?” Aoshi asked her.

“Yes.” Misao refused to look at him, leafing through her school books.

“You could use the break.”

Misao just gave a nod as she continued to leaf through her school books. This was as far as they got in the last few weeks, but this was the first time Aoshi dared to try to push beyond the frosty tension between them.

“Good job on Kobayashi, Misao.”

Misao nodded again.

“We can talk again, you know.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. You have the reports. The mission is over, it was a clean break.”

“I’m sorry I underestimated you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Aoshi understood that this wouldn’t lead anywhere.

“You’re welcome to drop by later,” He offered.

“I’m not sure I want to.”

Aoshi nodded. “Alright then.”

He moved to exit, and slid the door behind him, leaving Misao alone.

Misao had been angry. But even in her anger, she still dreamt of Aoshi – their first kiss, their first time -- which only infuriated her further.

She should forgive him, she realized, when she was alone and allowed to think things through. Was she really mad about how he handled her with the Kobayashi case? Or was she mad about something else entirely?

Another week had passed. She tried to be warmer to Aoshi, but by then Aoshi was in his own world again.

Then a week after that, he made an announcement, “I’m returning to Tokyo. I’ve been asked to help Mister Himura of the Kamiya Dojo, and I’ve decided to lead operations through the Oniwabanshuu based there.”

In between the enthusiasm from everyone else there, she could feel some of them throwing worried glances at her. She hoped that she feigned enough sincerity as she answered, “Congratulations, Aoshi. I’m sure you’ll do well.”

 

_**Mid-April 2017** _

Almost a month and not a single visit from Misao. Aoshi knew it was time to go. He gave his announcement, he had begun to pack what few belongings he still had, and he had already confirmed his details for Tokyo. He’ll leave right after temple in the morning.

There was a knock on his bedroom door.

“Come in,” Aoshi called out.

The door slid open.

“I’m here.” He was not too surprised to hear it was Misao. This time, he didn’t pause to greet her as he continued packing his bags.

“Hello. What do you need?” He asked.

“I just wanted to see you one last time before you left.”

Last time. Choice words.

“Alright.” He continued packing his things.

Misao went over to his bed and sat on it, watching him pack.

“You pack light, for someone who’s going to start a new life in the city.” She observed.

“Part of our training. And you know what they say about attachment.” Aoshi knew that he meant more than just the things he had when he said that.

“You would know, you’ve already been out of the Aoi-ya in service for the clan. I haven’t been assigned to those kinds of missions.”

Was Misao trying to tell him something? Even Aoshi wasn’t sure.

“You’re a fast learner. You’ll be fine, wherever you will be.” Or whoever she will be with, he thought quietly. He closed his bag – a large black mountaineering backpack that he had reworked as his all-around luggage. He set it aside.

“So, Tokyo head of operations?” Misao asked.

“Yes. It was my idea, just to help keep things organized.”

Aoshi sat opposite from her on the bed. He was tempted to reach for her, but he didn’t know why. They were never really theirs anyway, he remembered. And while she had professed her love for him... he couldn’t bring himself to respond to her that way. She likely moved on, it comes with the age, he thought. And after how he handled her case? It was done.

“Can I visit you?” Misao asked him quietly.

“You’ll always be welcome wherever I’ll be staying.” Aoshi replied.

“That means a lot to me.” Misao’s voice brightened up a bit.

“I’m glad.”

Like the poems he read and treasured, Aoshi knew that this was were they would always stand – companionship, sometimes intimacy. And they would come so close, but they would still miss. It’s the nature of who they are as Oniwabanshuu.

With that in mind, he reached out and put his hand over hers, giving it an affectionate squeeze. Misao looked at how he held her hand and smiled. She wanted to say more, but didn’t really know what else to say. She had gone from declaring love for him to refusing to speak to him, and now he was about to leave.

Not like she could follow him, nor did she want to be by his side. Or maybe she did.

She loved him, she realized then. But maybe she’ll never know if he loves her as much as she did over the years. Maybe that was part of it.

She couldn’t bear to close the distance between them now, knowing that they’ll be driven apart again in a matter of ours.

She excused herself, and Aoshi didn’t stop her.

 

That night they had one last dinner together with the rest of the clan, then they went their separate ways. Aoshi was gone in the morning.

In the months that followed after, Misao wrestled with how she felt about him being gone. She caught herself staring at her cellphone, wondering what to tell him. She did well in her exams, she was assigned new cases and different roles.

She had decided to only attend a junior college so she could go straight to work after two years.

But she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. In return, she hadn’t heard from him.

Misao became content to simply wonder and cherish that last time she held him. She dreamt of him, often. While usually it replayed those moments they shared, sometimes she swore that it did come true – that he told her he loved her back, and wanted nothing more than to be with her.

Misao would wake up hoping it would be true one day, even if there was a part of her that knew otherwise.

Before she knew it, it was November. And she had turned eighteen.

 

_**November 2017 – Epilogue** _

Once, she realized. She used the word ‘once’.

But Misao, upon realizing that that strange sense of Aoshi that had commanded her after all these years was losing it’s grip of her, only made her want to see him more. Never mind that it had been some months since they last spoke, or had anything to talk about. The feeling of loosing grip of something she used to be so sure of did not sit well with Misao. And for her, raised as the problem solver, this was something that needed to be seen through.

Sometime during the very noisy celebratory breakfast, she booked a bus ticket online. She told Okina and the rest pointedly that she was spending the day with friends, and may not be back till very late or early tomorrow. As she finished breakfast, she finally found a message to send to Aoshi – she’ll be in Tokyo that afternoon, would he like to meet up?

There was no response from him as Misao packed her bag and headed for the bus station. After the first hour on the road, a message came in, “Yes.”

 

_**Afternoon, Tokyo** _

Aoshi had taken Misao to a coffee and curry place in Shinjuku. The place was usually empty, watched over by a middle-aged man and a much younger teen with shaggy hair and glasses behind the bar. While Aoshi had better curry meals, he liked their coffee, and liked that the place was usually empty.

For the last hour since they arrived, he had let Misao talk. He noticed that she was curious as to why he barely said a word – even if that meet-up was entirely his idea.

Misao, meanwhile, was trying not to panic at how she’s run out of stories to tell him. How do you talk to someone you used to be intimate with?

She finished her lunch and her iced coffee.

“So, what else is there to do?” Misao asked as she called for the bill.

“Well, if you remember, I was never one for more social events in Tokyo. This is probably one of three social instances in the next twelve months I’m here.”

“You should get a hobby, Aoshi.”

The bill arrived, but Aoshi immediately took it. He raised a hand to silence Misao protest, as he plunked a few yen bills down.

“I have hobbies...they just don’t include people.”

“Thanks for the lunch.”

“You’re welcome.”

“...So. Is there anything you want to do?”

“You tell me.” Aoshi just said.

“I’m here to see you, actually. But since you agreed to meet me, I’d rather follow your lead from here.”

“Why would you want to see me after the last month?”

“I don’t know.” Misao admitted.

There was a pause between them.

“You stopped talking to me.” Misao said pointedly.

“I didn’t know how else to deal with you.”

“I...I...” Misao looked at her hands. “I don’t know, Aoshi.”

And there it was.

Where Misao thought they would patch things up and perhaps return to his place where she’d stay the night, she realized that there was no need for that. She stopped dreaming about him. There was no longer a need for her to reach out to him across the table, to assure him that everything would be alright.

“Let’s walk.” She said softly.

They left the cafe, and started heading up the alley to the main road. They were quiet, with Aoshi occasionally pointing out an interesting monument, restaurant, landmark or two on the way. Misao being quiet though she had no ill feelings towards him, or so she says, was new to Aoshi.

But he took it as is.

They found their way back to the entrance of Aoshi’s apartment twenty minutes later.

“I’m here.” Aoshi said. “How about you?”

Misao stared at the entrance. Just one more step, and she’d be inside. And she’d just have to go up the elevator with him to get his apartment.

Then who knows what would happen once she gets there? Maybe she and Aoshi would return to being lovers, and this time in his apartment. She’d never speak of it, or purposely play it down when she returns to Kyoto. She’d call it a study date or maybe a real date that took a while. Okina may find out, maybe he’ll disapprove, or not.

Maybe she and Aoshi will fight again further down the line, or not.

Where would Aoshi be when she goes off to college? When she gets assigned in or out of Japan for the Oniwabanshuu?

Her okashira, she realized. And that will never change.

It was like her feet finally found the brakes of a speeding car. The pain she felt inside was not from a break-up, but from being stunned at realizing...

_She no longer loved him._

“I’ll head home.” She said, not looking at him.

“Sou.”

“I can visit again, or I’ll see you when you next head down to the Aoi-ya.”

“Sure. Yeah.”

She couldn’t bear to see his expression.

“I’ll see you, alright?”

“Right. Have a safe trip back.

“Bye.”

And just like that, she left.

 

Aoshi entered the building, headed to the elevator and pressed his floor number. While he was used to heading up alone, he felt emptier now. He got off on his floor and headed for his unit, a shoebox of an apartment that only had a futon and a small table with an automatic kettle.

It’ll be like this for a while, he knew.

Maybe one day he’ll meet someone and he’ll have an excuse to get a bigger studio with a proper kitchen. Or he can always ask to return to Kyoto, where it all started. He’s not one to assume what the fates had in store for him.

But first, he had work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set out to make this the A/M fanfic to end A/M fanfic. Admittedly, it didn't turn out that way. /flails But it did get me into a newfound zest for fanfic writing, so guess not all is lost.
> 
> After the news about Watsuki-sensei broke, it is very difficult for me to separate the creator from his fiction. I was--am in absolute adoration of A/M, so that realization was difficult for me. Hence, this fic. I stretched some tropes, turned it inside-out, and wanted to figure out the best possible way to break them up. 
> 
> Did it work? You tell me. ;) *youtuber style pointing to comments below*  
> If you've reached this far, thank you for reading.  
> See you in another fandom.


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